


Hell Hath No Fury...

by trashprinxe



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ficlet, No romo, Other, Revenge Sex, passive-aggressive roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2807888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashprinxe/pseuds/trashprinxe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Grantaire eyes the two of them with open distaste, flicking eyes between Montparnasse and Eponine and huffing angrily. Right at that moment, Montparnasse's eyes catch Jehan's, xir eyebrows flick up in acknowledgment, and Jehan gets an idea. An awful, fucked up, wonderful idea.</i>
</p><p>Inspired by a skype conversation: " jehan & R are roommates and they get into some petty fight so Jehan fucks Parnasse to make R mad because Jehan is just that aggressively passive aggressive "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hell Hath No Fury...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xerxesians](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xerxesians/gifts).



> Jehan and Parnasse are both nonbinary; fae/faer/faers pronouns for Jehan & xe/xem/xir pronouns for Montparnasse. Also they're both aromantic. 
> 
> Grantaire hates Montparnasse's guts. No one is quite sure why.

Jehan sends Grantaire the scowl typically reserved for only when fae's at faer most discontent. A withering sort of expression, full of large shining eyes narrowed by betrayal. Grantaire would seem unaffected if you didn't know where to look. He shifts imperceptibly, the smallest nervous gesture, and Jehan nods just slightly.

“Whatever,” fae says, trying for faer typical bright tone, shrugging a shoulder delicately. “You're right, it's none of my business. I don't even care.” 

Grantaire looks dubious. He can't help but feel as though somehow Jehan is winning by conceding defeat.

“Damn right it's none of your business,” he says, but it's lacking its punch. He looks put-down enough, as he scrubs a hand over his face and turns around in search of alcohol, that Jehan almost decides he's been punished enough. Almost.

*

Montparnasse enters the Musain with Eponine that night, going straight for the bar and ordering a drink. Eponine laughs at whatever comment xe'd just made and xe smirks in appreciation, eyes scanning the room. From their table in the corner, Grantaire eyes the two of them with open distaste, flicking eyes between Montparnasse and Eponine and huffing angrily. Right at that moment, Montparnasse's eyes catch Jehan's, xir eyebrows flick up in acknowledgment, and Jehan gets an idea. An awful, fucked up, wonderful idea. Fae returns Montparnasse's acknowledgment with faer most flirty smile—that glance over and giggle that few have yet been able to resist. Montparnasse looks almost startled, then xir smirk becomes simultaneously appreciative and mischievous.

Jehan doesn't want Montparnasse to come over here, xe would just aggravate Grantaire and ruin the whole thing. That has to come later. Instead, fae takes up faer drink, pats R on the shoulder, and moves to the bar. Fae and Eponine switch places after greetings are exchanged; she goes to sit with Grantaire who is now staring openly at Jehan with a mixture of exasperation and betrayal. Jehan can feel his eyes on faer back, and it only serves to make the smile fae directs at Parnasse grow even wider. 

“To what do I owe this honor?” Montparnasse asks, taking a sip of whatever hard liquor is in xir glace without even flinching. 

Jehan has always found xem aesthetically attractive; it's an objective fact that Parnasse is hot. But now that fae allows faerself to notice, there is something distinctly sensual about xem. Every move is perfectly calculated to exude a confident kind of nonchalance, and Jehan can see why so many people have been pulled into xir gravity. Fae receives a kind of thrill at the opportunity to flirt back, absentmindedly taking the celery stick out of faer Bloody Mary and sucking the drink off of it. Montparnasse's eyebrows raise. Jehan has gotten xir attention. 

Jehan simply shrugs, taking a bite out of the celery stick with an obvious _crunch_. Montparnasse actually looks both startled and intrigued. 

“I just thought—we've had similar friends for so long, isn't it about time we get to know each other better?” Jehan's tone is light and friendly, but faer eyes are anything but. Montparnasse licks xir lips. Takes another drink. Narrows xir eyes and assesses. Jehan simply smiles, flashing brilliant, white teeth. And if faer oversized sweater slips, revealing toned shoulder and prominent collarbone and floral tattoos across the valley of soft, inviting skin, well it's not faer fault.

Montparnasse's smile turns almost predatory, sensing a challenge and invitation all wrapped together into a lovely package.

“I think you're right, Prouvaire,” xe agrees, toasting xir glass. Jehan clinks faer glass against it, and the two drink, never taking their eyes off each other.

In the corner, Grantaire groans audibly. 

* 

Jehan is as warm as sunshine, as lovely as spring, soft like wildflowers and refreshing as summer rain. Montparnasse is as cool as nighttime, as distant as the stars, yet as honest and accepting as darkness itself. Together, they etch out a middle ground—Hades meeting Persephone in a shadowed field, both eager to crack open the pomegranate and savor the seeds within. They may be a little intoxicated, but the 'yes's are sincere, the touches genuine and desired, laced hands and clashing mouths, hot and sweet and loud and joyous. 

When they later lay together in Jehan's bed, skin to skin, Montparnasse tucks a stray dreadlock back behind Jehan's ear almost fondly. Jehan traces the prominent line of xir cheekbone down to xir jawline, smiling sleepily. 

“Stay,” fae asks simply. Montparnasse complies.

*

Grantaire drags himself out of bed the next morning, head pounding with a hangover, eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot. _Coffee_ , he thinks. It's the only coherent thought he can form. 

However, when he makes it into the kitchen, he finds that the coffee pot stands empty and untouched. He frowns. Jehan is usually up by now, coffee already made, maybe even preparing breakfast on the stove. Fae must still be mad at him. He sighs heavily, mussing up his hair. It's too early in the morning—afternoon—for this shit. 

He begins making his way back toward the bedrooms to apologize, or something. He'll never be quite sure what he intended, for as soon as he reaches the hallway, Montparnasse stumbles out of Jehan's room, all flushed lips and messy hair, blinking blearily but still far too infuriatingly attractive for having just woken up. Xe notices Grantaire, and for a while they just stare at each other. Then Montparnasse's face splits into a wicked grin. 

No. No this can't be fucking happening. Jehan you didn't, you little shit, you devious little shit, are you _serious_ —

“Good morning!” comes Jehan's cheerful sing-song voice as fae skips out of faer room behind Montparnasse, affectionately messing up xir hair as fae passes. Grantaire swears to fuck that Jehan passes him a meaningful glance, a haughty smile, as fae makes faer way towards the kitchen to put on the coffee. 

It occurs to Grantaire right then that he may have seriously miscalculated the lengths to which Jehan will go in terms of roommate passive-aggression. Part of him has to be grudgingly impressed. 

Later, he will make a tumblr post that simply reads: “watch out for Jehan.” 

*

“So was this all seriously your attempt to get back at R for some petty fight? Because if so, I underestimated you, Prouvaire.” Montparnasse looks impressed, as per xir usual bravado, but there's something hesitant just under the surface that pulls at Jehan's conscience. 

Jehan's hands stall in the act of straightening Montparnasse's tie—they stand out on the stairwell in front of the door to the apartment, Jehan ready to send Montparnasse off on xir merry way—and before fae can think about it, fae uses the tie to pull xem in, pressing their lips together in a sweet, brief kiss. Fae pulls back, smiling brightly, pressing down the front of Montparnasse's shirt, attempting to get the wrinkled fabric to lay right. 

“Mm, that may not have been the entirety of it,” fae answers honestly, not meeting the other's eyes. 

Montparnasse arches an eyebrow, trying to suppress the pleased grin this pulls out of xem. 

“Ah. Well, I guess I'll be seeing you around, then.” 

“I hope so.” 

*

Grantaire and Jehan are sitting at the table that evening, quietly eating their curry, when Grantaire finally sighs. 

“Okay. Alright. I concede defeat to you, the mighty Jehan Prouvaire. You are hardcore, and were right, and I will think twice before fucking with you in the future.”

“Simply acknowledging that my point have view may have been correct was all I needed to hear,” Jehan says mildly. 

Grantaire groans, head dropping against his arms on the table. “I will never be on your level.” 

Jehan pats his arm in sympathy. “Nope. Never.”


End file.
